That wonderful day of the year where fitness programmers can make workout as obscure and difficult as possible and claim that they are simply “getting into the ‘Halloween spirit'”.
…and you know what? We agree with them!
Today, we’re going to cover the top Halloween workouts of all time. These include instances where multiple workout partners “die” halfway through, greatly uneven work distribution, and a Halloween workout where we pay homage to the worst/stupidest Halloween-themed movie of all time (you’ll know it when you get there…and you’re going to be very mad at me!)
So..without further ado, we present the top 12 Halloween workouts of all time!
Table of Contents
The Top 12 Halloween Workouts
Die, Die My Darling
Equipment: Assault Bike, Concept2 rower
If you’re a fan of The Misfits (or, probably more likely, Metallica!), you’ll be familiar with the title of this workout, However, you’re probably not as familiar with a “death by…” workout that is essentially on steroids!
I hate to break it to you, but every partner is going to “die” during this one. However, if you’re strategic with your rest periods when the three of you are all still alive, you’ll get to make the pain last the longest time possible…
Equipment: Concept2 rower, wall ball, barbell, bumper plates, plyo box, Air runners, ski erg
When I was a little kid (and when I was not a little kid), I used to watch Garfield’s Halloween Adventure all the time…like all the time.
If you haven’t seen it, it is essential that you watch it for this Halloween workout to make sense:
Now that you know how much Garfield “contributes” to the rowing and how much he swims (skis) at the end, you can understand that when you are completing Pirate Ghosts this Halloween…it is definitely better to be the “Garfield partner!”
Equipment: Jump rope, barbell, bumper plates
To be honest, I don’t totally get the Nightmare on Elm Street link here.
What I do get is the clawing feeling that heavy clusters have after even relatively small sets of double-unders. Thankfully, as this one is more of a sprint (heh), it shouldn’t be too sleep inducing. I think you probably know why this is a good thing…
Equipment: Pull-up bar/rack, dumbbells
I haven’t seen this movie, but I assume that the killer doll torments its victims with toes-to-bars and dumbbell thrusters? If so, I think she could do a bit better job with this one.
As scary as any Fran clone is, if she really wanted to mess with people, she would have crafted this one in that 33-27-21-15-9 rep scheme that anyone who survived CrossFit Open Workout 19.5 is familiar with. Remember, on Halloween, you can “up-scale” workouts as much as you want to!
Row to Hell
Equipment: Concept2 rower, dumbbell
Such a simple pun that definitely works for this workout!
If I were programming this at a CrossFit box, I would actually just tell the trainees that they’re to go for a PR on their 2Ks. As the first person was getting within 100 meters of finishing, I’d start running out the dumbbells and would announce the “to hell” portion of the workout.
I would also identify myself as the actual devil in order to justify this little trick and to minimize any backlash. However, I’d still expect a “Fraser-Castro” type of showdown immediately upon doing so!
The Devil’s Rejects
Equipment: Barbell, bumper plates, pull-up bar/rack, jump rope
I could not care less about having not seen the Annabelle movie, although I am pretty bummed to have to admit that I haven’t seen this one.
However, from what I know about it (it’s apparently a pretty heavy and hardcore movie) the pretty heavy and hardcore combo of snatches and bar muscle-ups is something that I would certainly want to reject (or, probably at least scale!)
Pedal with the Devil
Equipment: Assault Bike, dumbbell
You’ve probably ridden bikes with…classier companions before. However, riding around town with Grandpa or Uncle Phil probably wasn’t as good of a workout as riding around with “the evil one”.
110 cals on the Assault Bike and 110 devil’s presses…may as well get riding!
Equipment: Dumbbell, Concept2 rower
As it is, you should probably figure out who in your small group is going to be the “row guy” and which guy is going to be the “devil’s press” guy. Whoever is better at these respective exercises needs to do more reps/distance on their respective components (you’re both going to have to suffer through that middle portion!)
Monster chipper, indeed!
Equipment: Wall ball, plyo box
Another “team” (partner) workout, but this time…you get to use a “pumpkin”.
(you’re supposed to use a wall ball, but if you want to use an actual pumpkin…be my guest!)
None of these exercises should be too difficult, but you really gotta coordinate how you hold on to the “pumpkin” in order to minimize the burpees (now that I think about it, holding on to the stem of an actual pumpkin might make this one easier!)
Equipment: Dumbbell, Echo Bike, pull-up bar/rack
I don’t care what you think or say…this movie sucks.
Thankfully, anyone who sees this one written up on the white board probably thinks the same!
Overhead lunges, Echo Bike, and toes-to-bars…!
Maybe, like this awful movie, this Halloween workout will gain “cult” status in the future. However, I’m willing to bet that most people who take it on this Halloween will be happy to put it to bed…
…until next year, at least!
Equipment: Jump rope, wall ball, barbell, bumper plates
I’ll admit that I don’t get the title of this Halloween workout.
(I do find it a bit scary that somebody would actually be this bad at spelling!)
As with any workout involving built-in rest, you really gotta put the hammer down on this one and kick things into hyper drive. I’m talking touch-and-go on those snatches until you Hallo-wwheze!
Equipment: Kettlebell, plyo box, barbell, bumper plates, slam ball, dumbbell, Concept2 rower
This Halloween workout has a pun that I can actually appreciate (even if I don’t have the necessary credentials to make or to appreciate “dad jokes”).
The “10-31” theme is cute…until you get to that final row; after all of those burpees, presses, snatches, swings, and slams…you’re probably not gonna hit a 1,000-meter PR.
That’s okay, though! All you have to do is outpace all of that kandy korn (yuk) and Reece’s (yes!) that you’re going to (hopefully not) binge on one Halloween night.
(well, when I put it like that, I’m probably going to have to do this one, like, 4 times!)
Go do a Halloween Workout…or else!
So…pretty much something for everybody here.
Hard Halloween workouts. Easy Halloween workouts. Fun Halloween workouts. Scary Halloween workouts.
Now, only two more things needs to be emphasized:
- After reading this, you have to do a Halloween workout (yes, even if you’re reading this sometime in April or December or whatever)
- Hocus Pocus sucks
Those important annoucements out of the way, grab your pumpkin/wall ball and get going!
Need a few more workout ideas that are…less-than-devout to choose from this Halloween? Check out our list of the top devil’s press workouts. You’re certain to find something from below to challenge your fitness (and sanity!) level!